It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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