my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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