That's intense
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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