His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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