good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
