if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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