I need help removing her.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
