Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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