The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
