I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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