One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
