Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
