just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
