so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
