Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
