The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I love you. Go after that dick
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
