I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
