just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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