I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
