i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
