I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
