she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
