Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
