oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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