yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
