I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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