I'm going to jail i love you
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
