Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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