I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
