It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
