You can't motorboat a personality
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
