I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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