I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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