i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
