On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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