we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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