I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
