Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
be right there i have to get my cape
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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