apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
