He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
