Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
