I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
