i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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