Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
