I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
