If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
