so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
