I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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