im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Welp...herpes.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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