You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
