Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
